Simpsons fans receive email from Homer

Read this. It's very, very good, and it's got Homer Simpson's e-mail address in it.

I kid you not.

Steve Davis through to poker final at first attempt

Girl brings crack cocaine to school for show-and-tell

Well... whoops!

(Show-and-tell - see an excellent episode of The Simpsons for an example of this... the one with the dog in the ventiliation system and Marvin's geode.)

Is this a Benny Hill-style US Presidency?

Bush has expressed his frustration with countries reluctant to go to war on Iraq

Diddums.

Rock on. Not that it changes my opinion of our esteemed President, sorry, Prime Minister.

Dukes Of Hazzard gets big screen remake

Nay, nay, and thrice nay!

There's a story here that goes as follows:

Detectives are hunting for a one-armed, four-and-a-half-foot tall, limping hunchback who has an Irish accent in connection with a £10,000 jewellery raid.

Here's my advice. If you're a one-armed, four-and-a-half foot tall, limping hunchback with an Irish accent, then a life of crime is not for you, because I suspect you would be rather on the easily-identifiable side.

Next Harry Potter book out in June.

In case anyone's interested.

www.VillainSupply.com, Your Online Source For Everything EVIL™.

Not wanting to be left out, Helm's Deeper is to put in a bid for Safeway.

Jolly good, wot! Anyone for tennis? That'll be ten ponies, guv. You're the epitome of everything that is english. Yey :) Hoist that Union Jack!

How British are you?
this quiz was made by alanna

Cobblers!

Ant and Dec's audition fools Pop Idol's Mr Nasty

Brillyernt.

Someone's Guardian Angel working overtime

Crafty security guard scares away burglars with giant footprints

Int crafty security guards brill-yernt?